No One Could Tell
by obliviousworlds
Summary: Maybe this was his fault. Maybe he did something wrong. Adam's POV Sexual & Eating disorder theme
1. Chapter 1

I hate when dad makes us run laps. I know it's to help us train when for when we hunt monsters and all but that doesn't mean I have to like it. I look up ahead to see Sam and Dean ahead of me jogging up to where dad is and I pick up the pace. I want to get this over with as soon as possible.

I'm the youngest Winchester of 2 brothers. Dean's the oldest, he's eighteen and Sam's sixteen. I'm only fourteen and they don't ever let me forget about it. They're okay, better than dad is anyway. I'm not abused or anything, not physically or anything but sometimes dad can get pretty harsh verbally. It's not that I blame him or anything, I know dad has a lot on his mind.

"Okay you guys can stop now." Dad finally yells. We all stop and start walking back to the little house we're staying at. It isn't far from uncle Bobby's so while dad goes off on a hunt, me Sam and Dean are gonna stay here so Bobby can check in on us every now and again. Not that Dean's a bad babysitter or anything and it's not like me and Sam need to be looked after but dad just likes to make sure.

"You okay Addy?" Dean is asking me. I hate that stupid nickname. He's always called me it no matter how many time I tell him not too. Sam did too but when I asked him to stop he did because he hates being called Sammy, but to Dean we're always going to be "Sammy and Addy."

"I'm fine and don't call me that." I tell him before walking into the house first. It's mid Spetember but dad has the air conditioning on because it's still pretty hot out.

"You sure?" It's Sam asking this time. Both of them hover me a lot and I can't tell you how annoying that is.

"Yes." I say through clenched teeth. "It's not the first time dad has made us run stupid laps!"

"Watch your mouth Adam Winchester!" Dad snaps at me as he walks by.

Dean looks up to dad like he's some kind of hero. Dean's the perfect child and him and dad never fight about anything. Sam and dad fight constantly and I just let dad yell at me whenever it happens. There's no use fighting back with him, it's really just a waste of breath.

"_ He thinks we're soldiers_." Sam will say.

"_Shutup Sam he's still our dad." _Dean will argue back.

I keep quiet throught it all because like I said it's just a waste of breath.

"Sorry sir." I finally call back to dad. Sam's looking at me uneasy and so is Dean.

"What?"

"Nothing." Dean finally says and glances over at Sam. "It's just not like you to mouth off to dad." He adds.

I shrug. I really hadn't ment too because like I said I don't like fighting with dad but it just came out. That happens sometimes right? Maybe Sam's proud of me now. He always tells me I need to stick up for myself more. He gives me a little smile and thats how I think that's what it means.

"I'm gonna lay down." I finally say before turning to walk down to my room. It's only eight o clock but no one says anything to me about it.

I lay down on the small cot that's in the room. There are 2 of them and a couch spread out. Dean sleeps on the couch and Sam sleeps in the other cot next to me, but I think Dean will take dad's bed when he leaves tonight on a hunt.

I know both of them will be in to check on me soon because they always do and if I'm still awake they'll bug me with all kids of questions and they'll keep asking me if I'm alright and do I want to talk about anything? I always tell them no but I'm not in the mood to go through all that tonight so I close my eyes and try to fall into a dreamless sleep.

_**TBC if you want :) **_


	2. Chapter 2

Dean snores. Like really bad. That's what I wake up too at six a.m the next morning. I guess I was wrong about him taking dad's bed.

I sigh and throw the blanket off of me and sit up and glance over at Sam who's still fast asleep in the cot next to mine. How he can sleep through Dean snoring I'll never know. I glance over at Dean who's curled up on the couch, mouth wide open and making that god awful annoying noise.

Sometimes when Sam's awake and we both are forced to stay awake because of Dean's snoring we'll take turns trying to get him to stop without waking him up, because if you wake up Dean in the middle of the night, there is a good chance you will get punched in the face. I've seen it happen to dad before but it's not like he got mad for it.

_"Good job Dean, it's always important to stay alert." _He had said before going off to get some ice for his jaw. I swore to myself I'd never try that.

Speaking of dad, he's gone. He left a note in the kitchen on the table saying Bobby will be by later with groceries and to enroll us in school here.

Great.

Dean hates school. He slacks off in everyone he's at, but dad says even though he's eighteen he really needs to get a diploma. Sam loves school, he never complains of the homework and he never has. I can so see him going off to college and getting one of those high paying jobs and becoming all rich.

I'm a mix of both. I like school but I slack off sometimes. Dean likes to joke about it, saying i have half of him and half of Sam in him.

You know now that I think about it half the things that come out of Dean's mouth make me wonder about him.

Dad also wrote that there are some lucky charms up in the cupboard and that they should do us until Bobby gets here. I sigh and put the note down and go and grab the box,a bowl and some of the milk that's left in the fridge and get set to making my breakfast.

This place isn't really so bad, I mean we've stayed in worse places. This is a nice little home and it would be nice if we could actually stay here for a while. A long while.

"Adam?"

I turn my head around to see Sam standing in the doorway of the kitchen yawning. He's still half asleep and looks like he'll fall over at any moment.

"What are you doing up?" He asks rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"Did you not hear Dean's loud mouth?" I ask between a bite of cereal.

"Right." He whispers and leans against the wall closing his eyes again.

"You gonna stay awake?" I ask him.

He stretches and nods. "Yeah unless you want to go wake Dean up and tell him to shut the hell up."

He knows my answer for that. I toss the box at him and he goes to make himself some cereal.

Dean wakes up about two hours later and by that time me and Sam are already showered and dressed for whatever we're gonna do today. I can't exactly say what that might be either.

Dean isn't the type of brother that will make you go out and do something like play catch or just run around. No, he's the exact opposite. He wants me to stay inside where he can watch me and where it's safe from anything supernatural. He's like that with Sam too but since i'm the youngest he mainly keeps an eye on me.

"How long have you two been up?" He asks after he yawns.

Me and Sam have just been sitting there on the living room floor talking about pointless stuff for the past two hours. We had no t.v right now so it was the only thing we could pretty much do.

"Few hours. You were snoring again." I say like it's the most normal thing in the world, because it pretty much is.

"Sorry. I don't mean too wake you up you know." Dena says giving me a glare.

Dean's always pretty cranky when he wakes up anyways so it doesn't affect me so I just shrug.

"Bobby's gonna be over soon." Sam calls to Dean as he heads off to take a shower. Dean waves him off telling him he heard him.

When Bobby does come over he tells us that we're going with him tomorow to be enrolled in school and for us to be ready. Dean groans and Sam gives him a smile. Like I said school is not a very fun subject around here.

He also has like a full load of groceries with him. Like enough to last us for four months. Who knows we might actually be here that long. it's a lot of healthy stuff and a lot of junk too and something tells me that Bobby isn't the only one who pitched in.

Joshua , Pastor Jim, and Caleb I assume pitched in as well. Whenever we see them they always tell dad me Sam and Dean look like we haven't eaten in weeks. Dad ignores them and sometimes tells them to stay out of our buisness. I know if he was here he wouldn't take the free charity.

"Geez you could feed half the state with all of this." Dean comments as he is laying stuff out on the counter.

My point exactly.

"So you don't starve." Bobby points out.

Again.

I help them put all the stuff up and sigh of relief when it's all done.

"You okay?" Dean asks me when we finish. Worried Dean is back.

"I'm fine." I say giving him a smile. I'm perfectly fine.

_**To be continued...**_


	3. Chapter 3

My stomach is in knots as Bobby is signing the papers to enroll the three of us in school. It isn't nerves because I'm not nervous at all. No, it's because of Dean. Dean just HAD to cook last night because he told me and Sam he could make us a GOOD meal. He didn't cook the chicken all the way and it had given me and Sam food poisoning and we were up half the night throwing up. Dean never got sick which only makes me wonder if he did it on purpose and gave himself a cooked piece.

"_Adam WInchester I am offended. I would never do anything to hurt you or Sam on purpose!"_ He had yelled at me, sounding so much like dad. I believe him, I really don't think he did it on purpose. God knows anything can just travel through his system without making him sick.

"Here boys." Bobby finally says handing us our schedules he got from the principle.

I glance over it before smiling a little at the name they have on there. _Adam Milligan-Winchester._

Not a lot of people know I'm just Sam and Dean's half brother. My mom's last name was Milligan and that's what it is on my birth certificate. _Milligan-Winchester._ No one wants to write that out so dad had it shortened to Winchester.

My mom died when I was just a baby so I don't remember anything about her. I have a picture of her but I have no connection to it. Something supernatural killed her and dad got to me before it got to me and put me in the hands of Sam and Dean. Dean was only four and Sam was only two but both were left motherless the same way I was.

They don't treat me any different. Dean gets mad whenever I point it out that I'm only half blood.

"_It doesn't matter. Your still a part of this family!"_ He'd say. Sam would agree and smile at me, which makes me feel a lot better.

"Oh great we start tomorow." Sam says with a smile in the car. Dean glances over at me and rolls his eyes which makes me smile.

We already have supplies and stuff. Bobby brought them in after we put the groceries up the night before and that only concludes my theory of Pastor Jim Caleb and Joshua. They're also big about our education.

I have to bring my knees up to my chest and rest my head on top of them to keep from throwing up again. Dean was _**NEVER **_ cooking again.

"You still sick?" Dean asks me as we're heading home in the Impala with Bobby driving. The car is Dean's now so dad takes his truck whenever he leaves on hunts.

Dean's turned around in his seat up front in the passenger seat waiting for me to answer and I know if I don't then I know he'll make Bobby stop the car and he'll do a full examination of me.

"little." I mumble before taking in deep breaths.

"I really didn't mean to make you guys sick.." He says glancing back at me and Sam. Sam looks better so I think the worst has past him.

"We know." Sam answers.

"Tonight Sam, you can cook."

"Good idea." Sam says grinning over at him.

"We're almost home Adam. You think you can wake before you start throwing up?" Bobby asks me glancing up at the rearview mirror.

"Yes." I mumble. I can wait.

"You think dad will get mad if I skip school tomorow?" Dean is asking later that night.

Sam rolls his eyes as he's getting his stuff ready. "You have to go sometime Dean."

"Yeah..."

I already have my stuff ready. Dean doesn't. He'll wait until five minutes before we leave before he crams everything together. It's just what he does everytime we stay at the same place for a while.

"I'm going to bed." I say, getting up from the floor in the living room. "Dean you sleep in dad's room tonight okay?" I tell him. I really don't want too have to deal with his snoring again tonight.

"I second that." Sam says speaking up.

"Fine." Dean answers.

He doesn't want to but we both know he will because we asked him too. The only reason he wants to sleep on the couch is to keep an eye on us and to make sure nothing supernatural tries to kill us. Yeah he has those big brother instincts.

"Night Addy."

"Dean..."

"Big brother rule."

"It sounds like a girls name." I argue back.

"You and Sammy both." He says and shakes his head. Me and Sam roll our eyes at the same time.

"How would you like it if I called you Deanie?" I ask trying not to laugh. That's what I used to call him when I was little or so, that's what everyone else says.

He shrugs much to my dismay. Of course he doesn't care.

"Whatever night." I finally say before stalking off to my room.

_**To Be Continued...**_


	4. Chapter 4

I think if Dean could, he'd keep me and Sam by his side all day.

"Both of you meet me out here after school okay?" He's telling both me and Sam outside of the front enterance.

We both nod at him for about the millionth time that morning.

"And if you all run into trouble at all just come find me."

"Dean come on we aren't kids anymore." Sam tells him.

Dean glances down at me and I scowl at him because I know exactly what he's thinking. _"No Sam your not a kid but I'm just saying that so Addy won't feel bad."_

"Whatever." I tell them both and walk away.

"Later Addy!"

"Damnit Dean!"

* * *

When you move around so much, it makes it hard to keep up with what school is teaching what. I'm not like Sam, I don't easily pick up things right on the spot.

"You know staring at them won't make them solve themselves." Someone, from god only knows where says.

"What?" I say looking up and taking a look at the chick who's leaning against my desk. We're in math class and everyone is paired off in groups working on the homework.

She smiles at me and I can feel myself blushing like an idiot.

"Right I know." I finally say and smile back at her.

"I'm Jo." She says holding out her hand.

"Adam." i say and shake her heand.

"So your new here huh?"

"Yeah."

"You made any friends yet?"

"Do you count?" I ask giving her another smile making her laugh.

"Maybe. You want to have lunch with me?" She asks twirling a piece of her blonde hair.

I have never been good with girls before. I always end up making a fool of myself and embarrasing myself further. No, that department is all Sam and Dean they are total naturals and always rub it in my face.

"Okay." I tell her.

* * *

"Wait so your Dean Winchester's younger brother?"

I look at Jo confused at the lunch table in the cafeteria. How in the hell did she know about Dean?

"We haven't even been here for a day so how do you know him?" I ask pushing things around on my tray. None of this stuff looked edible.

"News travels fast around here." She says but I know the real reason. Either Dean got into a fight or he got caught in the supply closet with some girl. I've been through this way too many times.

"Right." I tell her. "Why are you sitting with me again? Can't be much fun to be sitting with a loser."

"I don't think your a loser."

"You've known me for an hour."

"That isn't long enough?"

I laugh a little and sigh.

"Don't you think you deserve a friend?" She asks nudging me.

"I move a lot. I don't usually make any."

"Well like you said. I'm your first."

I laugh again. It's good to feel at ease with someone that isn't your brothers which is kind of weird...

"Heya Addy." I hear someone say from behind me. I turn around and glare at Dean because who else at this school would possibly call me that?

"Dean what did I say about that damn nickname?"

"I heard you. Did you think I was actually gonna listen?" He says and smiles over at Jo sitting next to me and she smiles back.

"What are you even doing here?" I ask sighing.

"Just checking in on you. Who's your friend?" He asks giving me an evil smile.

"Jo. Jo this is my brother Dean." I say quickly introducing them. I really want him to leave considering he's already embarrassed me enough for the day.  
"But she already knows you." I say adding in.

"Oh?"

"Supply closet?"

He doesn't answer which only proves my theory.

"Is Sam alright?" I finally ask.

He nods. "Yes he's fine. I'll see you out front okay?" He says backing out. I nod and turn back to Jo.

"Your brother seems nice. And I think it's cool he worries about you." She tells me.

"It's annoying." I tell her but in reality it is kind of cool, no matter how annoyed I get.

We hear a bunch of squealing and yelling coming from the other side of the cafeteria and Jo rolls her eyes at a group full of girls.

"What?" I ask glancing over at them then shaking my head when I see that they are drooling over Dean. Such a ladies man.

"Those girls...they just annoy me."

"How?"

"All they do is talk about people behind their backs and talk about well...purging to lose weight to impress all the guys. Isn't that gross? I mean who even does that?" She says making a face. "And isn't that like dangerous?"

I shrug. I knew a little about eating disorders through previous health classes but never really paid attention.

"Okay let's stop talking about this. It's gross." she finally adds.

"Okay." I tell her, because it's the only thing I can think too say.

* * *

_**To be continued...**_

_**Thanks for your reviews xoxx  
**_

_**and UnknownPerson who reviewed this: Thank you! That's so sweet! :)  
**_


	5. Chapter 5

When schools out I walk outside to wait on Sam and Dean because god forgive me if I disobeyed what Dean told me to do this morning.  
They're late, which isn't a surprise and I'm not gonna complain. I've done this plenty of times before. I'm always stuck waiting on etleast one of them.

"Mr. Winchester?"

I jump when someone places their hand on my shoulder and I turn around to see Mr. Sullivan, my history teacher, standing there. I try to hide that I'm a little freaked out since we're out here alone.

"Yeah?" I say nervously and shrug his hand off of me.

He smiles. "I just want to say I'm looking forward to having you in my class."

I swallow hard and nod. "I'm looking forward to it too." I say and glance around. Where are Sam and Dean when you need them?  
"I think you have real potential."

"Yeah..."

"Addy?"

I sigh of relief when I hear Dean's voice and turn around to see him and Sam standing there, side by side.

"Hey guys." I say and smile.

I see Dean glance up at my teacher and then back at me. "Everything okay?"

"Did Adam do something sir?" Sam is asking.

"Not at all I was just telling him how glad I am to have him in my class. He's really smart." Mr. Sullivan tells them both and smiles again. It's creepy.

"Right that's my dorky little brother." Dean jokes and pulls me close to him.

"I'll see you in class Mr. Winchester." Mr. Sullivan says totally ignoring Dean and his stupid joke and walks away.

"You guys were late." I say and pull out of Dean's grasp.

"Sorry." He says and eyes me. "You sure your okay? You've never cared when we were late before." He adds and galnces over at Sam.

"Yeah, sorry. Let's just go." I say and start walking to the impala. Home is the one place I want to be right now.

"Did you have a good day with your girlfriend?" Dean asks when he slides into the drivers seat.

"Girlfriend?" Sam asks and smiles.

I roll my eyes and get into the backseat. This was the problem with me and Dean. He can never keep his mouth shut about anything that doesn't concern him. I bet he'd think different if I ever told dad about all the stuff he's done and that nobody but me and Sam know about.

"She isn't my girlfriend." I tell them both and glance over my homework.

"You don't have to get so defensive about it Addy."

"Your an ass Dean."I say and roll my eyes.

He shrugs and laughs a little as he pulls out of the parking lot and starts the drive home.

"How was your day Sammy?" Dean finally asks when the quiet is obviously to much for him.

"Well you checked on me about ten times today, I thought you'd know."

I smirk because it annoys Sam too when Dean acts like a dad to us. This is one thing I'm not alone in.

"Sorry I just like to make sure..." He says letting his sentence trail. He likes to make sure of a lot of things lately.

"What are we having for dinner?" I finally ask, not wanting to talk about school anymore. we've been there all day why should we talk about it.

"Something that Dean doesn't have to cook." Sam says smirking.

"Haha very funny." Dean says rolling his eyes. "Frozen pizza?"

"Okay." Me and Sam say in unison. That was something easy to fix.

* * *

"When do you think dad will be back?" Sam asks at the dinner table later that night. We're all sitting there eating the pizza that Dean has fixed and surprisingly, it's pretty good.

"Don't know. Why? You miss arguing with him?" Dean asks through a mouthfull of pizza and glares over at Sam.

I roll my eyes because I know where this is headed. They're gonna get into this big fight that Dean always wins.

"No. I was just wondering how long we're gonna stay here is all." Sam finally says much to my surprise.

"I say a few months but it might be sooner."

A few months here would be great but I know we can't stay here for the whole school year. Sam will argue with dad about that when he gets back, because he always does when dad gets home from a hunt.

"I like it here." I finally say getting my part of the conversation in.

"Why because you have a girlfriend?"

Of course he has to bring it up again. "Dean..."

He smiles evily again and glances over at Sam.

"What's her name Adam?" Sam asks giving me the same evil smile.

"Her name's Jo." Dean answers him for me. I roll my eyes and stand up.

"I'm gonna go do my homework. Goodnight." I say and walk out, not wanting to deal with the teasing right now.  
Little did I know that Dean had left me a gift on my bed.

A box of condoms.

"DEAN!"

* * *

_**To Be Continued :P **_

_**Sorry this chapter wasn't that good, but it will get better!**_

_**& Thanks Molls for the idea!**_** :P****  
**


	6. Chapter 6

"Mr. Winchester can I see you for a minute?"

I stop when I hear Mr. Sullivan's voice and turn around to him. the bell has just rang for next period and everyone else is in a hurry to leave. It's been a few weeks since we've came here so everything has calmed down a lot much to my relief

I glance over at Jo who's glancing back at me and our teacher as if she doesn't know if she should leave. She's a nice girl and I'm lucky to have made friends with her, considering I don't do well with making friends myself.

"I'll see you later." I finally tell her. I don't want her to be late waiting on me.

She nods and follows everybody else out of the class room.

I turn back to Mr. Sullivan and he's smiling at me the same way he was last week when I was waiting outside for Sam and Dean. I'm not gonna lie, it's kinda creepy.

"Am I in trouble?" I finally ask. I'm not Dean though, I don't purposely try and piss any of the teachers off.

"Not at all. I was just gonna talk to you." He says and leans against his desk.

"About?"

"How would you like to come by after school every Thursday and do some tutoring?"

I look down at the ground then back up at him. I doubt Dean would even let me, even if it was to help me with school.

"I thought you said I was doing fine in class." I say confused.

"You are, but this is just a little extra help." He tells me and looks me up and down.

I think for a minute. Maybe I can talk to Dean about it and maybe he'll let me because extra help certainly can't hurt right?

"I'll have to talk to my brother about it." I finally tell him. Sam wouldn't have a problem with it, but Sam's not the one in charge of me unfortuanetly.

"Okay do that and then get back to me. Have a great day." He adds before finally dismissing me.

I nod and grab my stuff and walk out of the class.

* * *

Dean isn't really up for talking tonight. He's been in a bad mood ever since school let out and Sam went and made it worse by arguing with him about something stupid, which is no surpirse. This happens at least a few times a week.

"Hey Dean?" I say leaning against the doorway to the living room. Dean's sprawled out on the couch watching t.v that Pastor Jim had set up for us. It beats just sitting and staring at the walls anymore.

"What?" Dean says and glances up at me annoyed.

"My teacher wants me to come by after school every Thursday for tuoring. Is that okay with you?" I ask and wait for him to say no.

I can see him thinking about it and he doesn't answer for a minute.

"Do you want too?"

I shrug. "It can't hurt."

"Alright. Listen I promised Bobby I'd help him with some stuff after school and Sam has somehow made some friends." Dean explains and rolls his eyes at the part about Sam. "I'm gonna trust you to take the bus back here okay?"

"Okay." I say and nod. "Do you not trust me or something?" I add.

But I know the answer. I've asked it before and Dean always gives me the same one.

_It's not you that I don't trust. It's other people Addy, you never know what they're gonna do. _He picked that up from dad. I remember him saying it to Dean when we were younger and when Dean would groan about dad not being able to trust him.

"It's not that I don't trust you, it's other people Addy." He finally says.

Bingo.

"Right. Did you give the same lecture to Sam?"

"Damn right I did. Just because I'm pissed off at him right now doesn't mean I'm still not gonna watch out for his dumbass."

"Really Dean?" Sam is asking when he comes through the front door doing god knows what.

"You heard me."

I roll my eyes. This will be going on all night.

"Anyways what's going on with Adam?" Sam asks and looks over at Dean. I hate when he does that, it's not like I can't answer for myself.

"He's gonna go to tutoring by himself tomorow. You must be so proud of your baby brother." Dean says and smirks. I'd really love to smack it off of his face.

"By himself?" Sam asks. I thought he'd be the one to let me but I can hear concern in his voice.

"Do you want to walk in with him and hold his hand Sammy?" Dean asks but he's showing concern too.

"Dean..." Sam starts. The argument before clearly already forgotten.

"I don't like it either Sammy but Adam's a big boy. Dad says we have to stop babying him."

I scowl at the both of them. I think they totally forgot I'm standing in the room with them.

"And besides." Dean adds. "It's a school and Adam's teacher will let us know if anything goes on."

"I guess so." Sam says and looks over at me and smiles.

"I'll be fine." I say and roll my eyes. Why couldn't they get that?

* * *

_**To Be continued :P **_

_**very graphic detail coming up in the next chapter...  
**_

_**poor Addy :/  
**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Warning: Sexual Abuse**_

_**You have been warned. **_

"I didn't even know Mr. Sullivan had tutoring." Jo is telling me the next day at school in math class. We're doing those problems in pairs again, but me and Jo have already finished them.

I shrug. "It can't hurt and besides Sam's always telling me that getting a good education is good." I tell her. He stole that from dad. Him and Dean both are real good at that.

"Sounds like my mom." She says and smiles.

* * *

"Hey Mr. Sullivan." I say when I enter the classroom. I'm kind of surprised I'm the only one here...

"Hello Mr. Winchester." He says and smiles and closes the door. Are teachers even supposed to do that when they are alone with students? I didn't think so...

"Why am I the only one here?" I ask and glance around. Usually in tutoring there are other people there..

"Because I just need you in here." He tells me and reaches over and locks the door then turns back to me. No way are they even supposed to lock the door. Panic spreads through me and for once I wish I would have listened to Sam about coming here alone.

"Why'd you l-lock the d-door?" I ask nervously, but I'm almost positive I don't want to know the answer.

"So no one will disturb us." He says and takes a step towards me and it's then that I realize this isn't your normal tutoring session.

"I think...I think I should just go." I say nervously and take a step backwards. This _can't _ happen.

"Your not going anywhere okay?" He says and grabs my arm forcefully and throws me down to the ground. "And your not gonna scream or I promise I'll make this worse than it already has to be." He adds and puts all of his weight on me. Then all of a sudden I realize... this is real and it's happening too me.

"Please don't do this." I beg through tears. For once I want Sam and Dean there to hover me, I want both of them to bust through that door and save me. I'd even stand for Dean calling me Addy and Sam treating me like a baby, anything but-

"Don't!" I accidentally yell when I feel him start to pull my jeans down. He already has my hands pinned against my back so I'm traped.

"What did I say?"

I nod as tears fall from my eyes. I'm too terrified to scream so I lay there on the floor and take what I'm about to get.

* * *

He's breathing heavily when he's done and he let's me go and I scramble away from him. I begged him to stop and I layed there whimpering like a baby the whole time. Dad would be ashamed of me if he heard me like that. he'd expect me to fight him off, and I tried. I tried so hard...

"You tell anybody about this and I'll put a bullet in both of your brother's heads." He finally says and glares at me.

Fear spreads through me and I nod and I try to regain my composure as I redo my jeans and slowly stand up.

"W-why?" I stutter out.

"Your special." He says and gives me another creepy smile. "Now get out of here and remember what I said."

I nod again and grab my stuff and hurry out when he unlocks the door. It hurts but I want to get out of there as soon as possible.

So I practically run outside and down the street to the bus stop. Tears are still rolling hot and I can't seem to stop them and a few people ask me if I'm okay on the bus. I'm not in any way but it's not like I can tell them that. My stomach drops again when I remember what he said if I told anyone. I can't tell anybody.

It's uncomfortable on the ride home, because people keep staring at me and it feels like they know what's happened.

Or mainly, it feels like I have "I was just raped." Written on my forehead and that is the most awfulest feeling to ever have.

When the bus comes to a stop at my house I hurry off and run inside and lock all the doors and windows. I'm not taking any chances because he might come back for more..

The thought of that just makes me break down all over again.

I feel sick so I do the one thing your never supposed to do when something like this has happened. I hurry to the bathroom and turn the water on as hot as it will go and strip down and get in. I just want the feeling to go away but after twenty minutes of standing under the hot water, I know it's never going to go away.

Why me? Why on earth did this have to happen to me? I know I'll probably never get that answer.

"Adam?"

I jump when I hear someone yell my name and pound on the front door outside.

"Addy you home?"

Addy. It's Dean. I feel like crying all over again when I slowly walk to the front door and pull back the blinds to make sure it's really him.

"You mind opening the door?" He asks with a little smile on his face.

I undo the latch and open it and practically launch myself at him and cling to him.

"Woah easy there kiddo. What's wrong?" Dean asks as he puts a hand on my head. He has no idea and he never will.

"N-nothing. J-just missed you is a-all." I try to say calmly. He eyes me for a second before giving me a confused look.

"Well...I missed you too. How did tutoring go?" He asks as he walks into the kitchen.

"F-fine."

"Really? That's good. Sam should be home soon and I'll get him to cook something okay?"

I nod again.

"You okay? You getting sick?" He asks and places a hand on my forehead. My hair is still a little damp and that's probably what he thinks.

"I'm feeling a little sick." I tell him. It wasn't a lie because this whole thing has made me sick and I'm still so sore...

"Yeah? Why don't you go lay down then and I'll check on you later than." He says and gives me a little smile. I nod and turn to go to my room and lay down under the blanket and curl up. Dean has no idea what's happened. He doesn't have the slightest idea and he isn't going too and I have to make sure Sam doesn't figure anything out either.

Neither one of them will ever figure out that I was raped by my history teacher.

* * *

_**To Be Continued.**_**_.._**

**_Okay sorry if that wasn't really good. That's a hard thing to describe...  
_**

**_Addy :/ poor thing.  
_**


	8. Chapter 8

"I think he has some kind of stomach flu. You know the one that goes around all the schools?" Dean is telling Sam out in the hallway.

They must think I'm still asleep. It's almost seven thirty and I'm usually up by now and getting ready for school, but I don't have the strength to get up and go back there right now.

Dean checked on me a lot last night and when I didn't want to eat Sam knew something was up.

"Keep him home today? It's Friday so it's really not that big of a deal." I can hear Sam talking back.

"We'll see how he feels."

How I feel. I feel terrible but I know I'm not sick. I'm gonna fake it today and not even regret it like i usually would. Things have changed.

I slowly sit up and lean over the bed where the trashcan is and set it on my lap. I've never made myself actually get sick before. I rely on Dean for that.

I take two fingers and shove them in the back of my throat. That's how girls do it right? It works because I'm spitting up into the trashcan and gagging. And it isn't long until I hear footsteps come into the room.

"Sorry." I say looking up at Sam and Dean when I'm finished.

"Don't be sorry. Your sick it's not like you can help that." Sam says and gives me a little smile and takes the trashcan from me.

"Here take small sips." Dean says and hands me a glass of water and sits down on the bed next to me.

I do as I'm told and hand the glass back to him and look up at the both of them waiting on what they're gonna say next.

"Okay. Your gonna stay home today obviously." Dean finally says. "Sam's gonna go to school I guess right?"

Sam nods and glances over at me.

"I'm gonna take the day off and stay home with you okay?" Dean says looking at me. Dean knows dad won't get mad at him for skipping school if I'm sick because dad has drilled in his head that me and Sam come first before _anything._

I give a small nod and sigh of relief. Staying home alone was one of the biggest fears in my mind. What if _he _found out where I lived and came to finish what he started?

"Okay. You gonna go back to sleep?" Dean asks.

I nod again and lay back down as dean tugs the blanket back over me.

"I'm gonna get going. Feel better okay?" Sam says and gently ruffles my hair like I'm a little kid.

"Have a good day Sammy." I whisper quietly and look up at him. He gives me a sad smile before heading out.

"I'll be back to check on you in a few hours okay?" Dean says when Sam finally leaves.

"Okay."

Dean thinks I'll go back to sleep. He thinks I slept all of last night which wasn't true at all. I mainly tossed and turned because I couldn't stop thinking about _him _ and what _he _did to me. There's no way I can sleep with _that _still going through my mind, So i place a pillow over my head and cry silently when Dean closes my door.

* * *

"You didn't sleep did you?" Dean is asking me a few hours later as he's making me sit up to eat some chicken noodle soup.

No I didn't sleep, because how could I?

I shrug in response. Dean doesn't need to know everything.

"You think you need to go to the doctor?" He asks me as he sets the tray on my lap.

No. A doctor is out of the question. They'll find out about what happened and then Sam and Dean will be dead and it'll be all because of me.

"I'm alright." I tell him and look down at the bowl in disgust.

"Come on I need you to try a little for me. You didn't eat last night remember?"

What's the point? I'm not hungry and I don't feel the need for it.

I simply nod and pick up the spoon and start eating little bites. I know Dean isn't gonna leave until I eat enough that's gonna satisfy him.

"Dean..." I finally say when I'm finished with half of it. He nods and takes it away and for a second I think he's gonna leave me alone again for a few hours but he comes back and leans against the door frame.

"You want to come watch t.v with me?" He asks and smiles.

I think for a moment and nod because I know as long as I'm with Dean, nothing is gonna happen. Nothing's gonna get me and nothing's gonna take advantage of me like what happened yesterday.

I grab the blanket and wrap it around myself and walk into the living room with him and sit on the couch.

"You okay?" Dean asks glancing over at me as he flips through channels.

"Yeah I'm alright." I whisper and give him a small smile. He smiles back and goes back through flipping through the channels on the t.v.

Sam and Dean have no idea about what happened and I'm determined to keep it that way. No matter how much it hurts.

I rest my head down on the couch and let my eyes close and for the first time today, I let the darkness swallow me.

* * *

**_To be continued..._**

**_Thx you all for reviewing. They make my day :D  
_**

**_xoxx  
_**


	9. Chapter 9

Sam walks through the door just as I'm waking up for about the millionth time in the last hour. Dean has stayed next to me on the couch the whole time but gives me worried glances every time I wake up. Like he wants me to stay asleep.

"Everything okay?" Sam asks in the doorway. I know he's catching Dean's worried look because he keeps glancing back and forth at me and him.

"Mhm." Dean finally mumbles. I hate when he does that.

"I feel better." I finally say. I know they both have been waiting for that. School's out for the weekend so I don't really have to fake being sick anymore.

"Really?" Dean asks and gives me the biggest smile I've seen all day. "Good. I really thought me and Sam were gonna have to take you to the ER."

There's no way I would ever let that happen.

"I kinda thought you were faking at first...but me and Sam knew you would never purposely make yourself throw up." Dean says standing up.

Me? No I'd never do that.

"And plus you'd never purposely try and miss school." Sam adds and sets his stuff down. It makes a loud thud when it hits the floor and I wonder for a minute if Sam has brought the whole library home.

Again. Me? Never.

"I have something for you." Sam says again and goes digging through his backpack. He drags out three text books and I wonder if that's what he means.

"Not that." He says and smiles. I smile back too and glance at Dean who rolls his eyes.

"Jo gave me your homework for the weekend." Sam finally says and hands me a few pieces of paper.

I expect a girlfriend joke from both of them, or atleast Dean anyways but he stays quiet.

"And gave me some of your homework when I was walking to the bus."

I wasn't expecting that at all and Sam gives me a confused look when I won't take the paper.

"J-just set it down t-there." I say and glance at the coffee table. I'm not gonna do it.

He does and glances up at me then back at Dean.

There's an awkward silence after that and it's uncomfortable so I finally ask, "What's for dinner?"

* * *

Maybe Sam and Dean still thought I was faking sick, maybe they didn't. I had expected something light for dinner like another can of soup or some crackers or some god awful protein shake Dean would have forced me to drink. No, instead we're having breakfast for dinner. It's something dad fixes us whenever he's in a good mood and is actually home from a hunt and it's something we all look forward too.

"What's the occasion?" I ask and glance down at my food. My mouth is practically watering just from looking at the sausage,bacon, and eggs.

"It's easy and I'm tired and I don't want Dean to kill us with food poisoning." Sam says as he's getting a carton of orange juice out of the fridge.

Can you even die from food poisoning?

"Oh." I finally say and look up at Dean and shrug.

I'm starving by the time Sam has everything laid out. That can of soup really didn't do anything except give Dean piece of mind when I kept it down.

"You sure your okay to eat this Addy?" Dean asks when he sits down.

God he has no idea.

"Yes." I tell him and pick up my fork and start eating.

* * *

I guess I should get used to sleepless nights from now on. Everytime I close my eyes I just keep replaying what happened in my mind and I come up with the idea that it was my fault it happened.

I sit up on the edge of my bed and sigh and look back at Sam who's passed out in his own. I can hear Dean's loud mouth in dad's bed down the hall. I really think Dean should go to a doctor for that.

When I get up and walk to the kitchen and open the fridge to get a bottle of water I take sight on just how much food we really have in the house. The fridge is packed with food waiting to be eaten and food that's leftover from a few days.

I don't know how it happened.

I just start taking food out and shoveling it into my mouth like it'll be taken away from me if I'm caught. For ten straight minutes I'm standing at the fridge stuffing my face full of anything I can reach. Cold Pizza, leftover chicken that's probably still undercooked, sausage and downing it all with a carton of milk.

I eat until it hurts to stand, until my stomach is as tight as a drum and I just barely make it to the bathroom before it all threatens to come back up.

So I sit there in front of the toilet for ten more minutes and throw up everything I just ate. When I know I'm finished I stand up and flush the toilet and walk over to the sink and brush my teeth and rinse with some mouthwash.

when I climb into bed I sigh of relief when I can still hear Dean snoring and Sam's even breathing signaling they're both still asleep and have no idea what just happened.

I don't even know what just happened, but I feel better and that's enough for me.

* * *

_**To Be continued...**_

_**love your reviews! xoxx  
**_


	10. Chapter 10

"Hey are you feeling any better? Your brother told me you were sick."

"Mhm."

It's Monday and me and Jo are sitting in English class taking notes and trying to talk without getting in trouble.

"So stomach virus huh?"

"Yeah." I say and look at her.

It makes me think of what I did Friday night. I could totally blame that on the whole stomach virus thing right?

When we all woke up Saturday, I was afraid Sam and Dean would figure out what I did and start freaking out, but they didn't. If they did they sure as hell acted a lot calmer about it then I thought they would.

I glance up at the clock and take a big long sigh. I have History next.

If Sullivan really thinks I'm going to class after what he _did_, he must be out of his damn mind. I'm gonna pull a Dean and skip. I'd make him proud if he ever knew.

"You okay?" Jo is whispering to me while glancing up at the front.

No.

"Yeah." I tell her, because what else can I even tell her?

Jo's nice and I guess I do trust her but not enough to tell her anything personal. She's the only friend I've made here and she'll probably be the only one now that, that _thing_ happened.

* * *

I keep my word to myself and skip class and go and sit in one of those supply closets no one ever opens. Hell this one might even be the one Dean has _scored _in.

I shudder at the thought and sit down. I have an hour to kill.

My stomach growls and it makes me feel sick because I didn't eat breakfast or anything. I don't know how chicks starve themselves to lose weight day after day. I guess they have their own way of dealing with things.

I sigh and think about the way Dean was acting earlier that morning. Dad called and checked in and that just made Dean's day. Sam could of cared less much to no one's surprise. I mean I wasn't all that excited but I'm glad to know, you know, that he's still alive.

I heard him ask if everything was okay and Dean said everything was great.

A lie.

Dad would make everything better if he was here. If he was here I'd probably done told everyone what happened because there's no way dad would ever let Sullivan ever get near me, Sam, and Dean. He'd take care of it and everything would be fine as could be. Except that he isn't here and I can't take that chance.

Sam and Dean would go after him, and Sullivan is probably already prepared for them.

I rest my forehead on my knees and close my eyes, because I can't even imagine that happeneing.

All because of me.

* * *

"Mr. Winchester."

Fear fills through me as soon as I hear _his _voice calling after me. It's the end of the day and I was trying to make it out of there to meet Sam and ride the bus home since Dean had work to do after school.

I slowly turn around and look up at him and notice that damn creepy smile. This man is probably the same age as my dad but looks ten times creepier.

"I missed you in class today."

"You really thought I'd go to class after..." Tears sting my eyes before I can get anything else out. I glance around and notice other teachers are still here. He wouldn't try anything _now._

"No." He says. "But you didn't tell anybody anything right? Remember what I said if you did?"

I swallow hard and nod. "I didn't tell anybody anything." I tell him.

He smiles again. "Good. I'll see you Thursday for tutoring." He says and turns and walks away.

I didn't expect him to just leave me alone after that. I mean I kinda knew this would keep going on but that doesn't mean I'm any less scared about it.

* * *

"There you are. Where were you?" Sam is asking me when I walk up to the bus stop.

Talking to my rapist, what were you doing Sam?

"Sorry." I say instead.

"You alright?"

"I wish everyone would quit asking me that!" I growl and roll my eyes.

"Well stop acting like a brat then and maybe everyone wouldn't ask you." Sam says and glares at me.

For some reason that pisses me off and I tell him to fuck off.

"You better be glad I'm not dad or Dean." He tells me.

Both of them would have beat my ass for saying that.

"Hard day I get it." Sam finally adds. "But watch who you take it out on."

I wanna yell at him. I just want to yell "No Sam you don't get it. You can't possibly know how to deal with this kind of stuff because this stupid thing never happened to you!"

Forget it. Arguing with him is pointless and he'll probably tell Dean and then I'll have to listen to his stupid ass.

No.

What I'm gonna do is I'm gonna go home and sneak food off into my room and stuff my face like I did the other night. I'm gonna do it until it fucking _hurts _and then I'm gonna get rid of it.

That kind of pain I can take. It's easy when you've been through something even worse.

* * *

_**To Be Continued...**_


	11. Chapter 11

The next time _it _ happens, I try and put up another fight. I cry until my voice is hoarse and I beg him to stop just like I did before, but it's not like he listened. He still took advantage of me and did _that _horrible thing to me.

Now I'm home and Dean's bugging the living hell out of me and I'm obviously in a bad mood.

"Hey Addy?"

"What?" I ask and glance up from the t.v at Dean.

"Sam wants to go see a movie." He says and leans against the doorway.

"So?" I say and shrug and go back through flipping through the t.v. channels.

"So." He says and snatches the remote from me and turns the t.v. "We're gonna go see a movie." He says and glances at me.

"I don't want too." I say and cross my arms.

"Well too bad."

This pisses me of further. I don't see why I have to go everywhere they go, I mean they let me take the bus home by myself and they don't even think twice about _that._

"I'm not going." I tell him. I'm determined to win this fight.

"What's your problem?" Dean asks and sits down next to me.

"I just don't wanna go." I tell him through clenched teeth. Why didn't he get that?

"Why?"

"I'm tired."

"You sleeping okay?"

I sigh and lay facedown on the couch. Why must he ask so many questions anyways? He's never done this before.

"Yes." I finally tell him and curl up into a ball. "Can't he just go with his friends? And me and you stay home?" I ask and turn over.

I've really done it now. He's giving me that worried big brother look because I just asked him to stay home with me when any other time I'd tell him to leave me alone. But this isn't any other time, and things are different.

"Why are you so clingy all of a sudden?" He asks, still with that worried look. "Your not sick again are you?"

"No." I say and sigh again. "I uh...just missed you...you've been at Bobby's all week and I haven't really seen you..."

It's a lie but a pretty damn good lie but I'm not so sure he's conviced by the look he's still giving me.

"I mean..." I start out and sit up again. "I've seen Sam everyday and I just haven't seen you..." I add and give him a sad smile. Sometimes it's nice to be the baby of the family.

"Well Addy I'm touched and all but that still doesn't answer why you don't want to go see a movie. I'll be there..." Dean says and gives me a questioning look again.

Oh right, I forgot what started all of this.

"I just don't want to go out."

"And your tired?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."

It's silent for a minute before Sam comes in and says "Never mind Dean. I've made plans with my friends."

* * *

"So you wanna tell me how things are going with your girlfriend?" Dean's asking after Sam's gone. I'm laying on the couch and he's sitting next to my feet drilling me with all these questions.

"She's not my girlfriend but we're fine." I answer him and close my eyes.

"And School?"

I bite down on my tounge so hard I taste blood. "Fine." I lie.

"Good." He says. "I wouldn't want to have to kill anybody for messing with you."

See why I can't tell him what happened?

"It's fine Dean." I tell him. It's fine Dean, it's fine. Why won't you shut up now?

"You hungry?"

"No."

"You haven't eaten all day so I doubt that."

I open my eyes and sit up again and give him a surprised look. "How did you know that?" I ask him, because it's not like he's with me all day.

"You just told me."

Damnit!

"Okay. Sam's not here though and I doubt he's gonna like coming home to find out you killed his baby brother with your cooking." I say and give him a little smile.

"Funny." he says and shakes his head. "Order pizza?"

I nod. I'll get rid of it later.

* * *

When Dean sets the pizza box down on the table, the smell fills the room and it makes my mouth water.

"Smells good huh?" He asks and smiles at me.

He has no idea.

"We even have pie." He adds and grins and makes me laugh a little.

Dean thinks pie can solve anything. If your in a bad mood or upset then he thinks eating a slice of pie will make it all go away and be perfect again. One time when he got sick with the flu he was so convinced eating a whole pie would make him feel better. It ended up with him throwing up all over Sam and Sam told us all he'd never eat pie again. Memories like that make me laugh because that's when everything was so simple.

"Great." I finally tell him and sit down.

I don't eat like I would if I was alone. No, I eat like a regular normal person and just have two slices. Dean has gotten two boxes of pizza and he has no idea what I'll be doing later that night. It'll all happen as soon as he goes to bed.

* * *

After a few times it isn't so hard anymore and it doesn't really hurt as bad. You get so used to it and you don't even feel it anymore.

I'm hunched over the toilet watching the pizza, the pie, and the soda come back up from my stomach. Dean's already went to bed and I know he's still asleep because I can still hear him snoring. I thought he was gonna plan on staying up all night and that I wouldn't get to do _this._

I fall back against the wall and take a few deep breath and try to relax my still churning stomach. It happens.

I flush the toilet and stand up and walk over and brush my teeth to get rid of anymore evidence, plus it's gross. I glance up at the hall clock when I walk back out into the hall and sigh. It's two in the morning and Sam still isn't back yet. If Dean was awake he'd be shitting bricks by now.

I almost wake him up to tell him but then Sam will get mad at me for ratting him out.

So I climb back into bed, although I don't know why. It's not like I'll be going to sleep.

* * *

_**To Be Continued...**_


	12. Chapter 12

On Saturday Dean drags us all to Bobby's for a visit. Not really a visit, he's just really pissed at both of us because Sam didn't get home until four a.m yesterday morning and I didn't tell him Sam wasn't home when I was up at two a.m. puking my guts out.

"Nothing happened!" Sam is still arguing with him in the car.

"Doesn't matter Sam! Something could have happened!" Dean argues back and shakes his head and glances up at me in the rearview mirror. "And why did you cover for him? He could have been hurt!"

Yeah I thought about that. I also thought that Sam's a big boy and can totally take care of himself.

"Huh Adam!" Dean practically shouts and I wince because I know it's bad whenever Dean calls me Adam.

"Fuck off Dean." I mumble and look out the window.

"Just answer me then." He says and shakes his head. "And your lucky I'm driving or I'd beat your ass for saying that to me!"

That makes me think of the other day at the bus stop when Sam told me the exact same thing.

"I didn't want to rat him out!" I finally say.

"Oh and what if he was hurt?"

"Dean would you relax!" Sam yells. "This is not Adam's fault, I'm the one who came home late."

"And your not dad! So stop acting like it!" I add.

It gets silent and I know to expect Dean to beat my ass when we get to Bobby's.

* * *

"Hey Boys." Bobby says with a smile when we all walk through the door.

Bobby's house is huge and is safe from anything supernatural. That's why dad always dumps us off here usually if Dean can't convice him he can take care of us himself.

By us I mean me of course.

"Adam your looking thin boy. You hungry?" Bobby is asking me in the living room.

I glance down. I didn't think it was that noticible yet.

"Come on, I'll fix you something to eat." He says.

Although I don't know what he means by that. Bobby is worse than Dean when it comes to cooking.

* * *

"Alright I'm finished." Dean says when he comes back inside. He's covered in grease and he's glancing down at me.

"He's in the other room." I tell him and finish the last bite of grilled cheese Bobby's made me eat.

"Okay." He says and places a hand on my shoulder making me flinch.

"Dean..." I say and watch for what he's gonna do. I mean I know Dean would never do that, it's just the thought and the sits down next to me and squeezes my shoulder and it only makes me feel more uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry about what happened earlier in the car." He says and gives me a little smile. "I just worry about you guys you know? I'd never forgive myself if anything happened to you all and that's why I freaked when I found out about Sam not coming home." he explains.

I know all the reason about that. One time Sam ran away for two weeks and it was when Dean was watching us and dad threw a fit about it. When dad found him he was so mad but was so glad at the same time. I think that's why Dean hovers us so much more now.

I sigh of relief when that's all he wanted to tell me. "I know Dean." I tell him. "I'm sorry too, I should have told you Sam wasn't home."

"It's okay. I apologized to Sam too." He tells me.

"Okay."

Sam trails in the door a minute later with a book and smiles at me and Dean. He's probably been reading the whole time we've been here, that's all he does when we all come to Bobby's.

"You finished?" Bobby asks when he comes back into the kitchen.

I don't know who he's talking too though, me or Dean.

"Yeah." Dean says and nods at him.

"Adam can you do me a favor? Go and get the phone out of the library for me?" Bobby asks and glances at the door way.

translation: Please leave so I can talk to your idgit brothers about something I don't want you to know about.

"Alright." I say and get up because I don't really want to start anything and get Dean pissed off at me again.

It takes me a few minutes to find the phone and when I do I hang around outside the kitchen quietly to listen in on what they are talking about.

"Boys I'm worried about your brother." Bobby is telling them.

"Why?" Sam asks.

"Has he been eating?"

I swallow hard and feel tears sting my eyes.

"Yeah he eats with us." Dean tells him. I can hear the sudden concern in his voice though.

"Well he must not be eating enough...It's just...it looks like he's lost some weight is all." Bobby tells them and I feel my eyes start to water more just thinking about how much closer to finding out what's been happening to me.

"He's fine. We'll keep an eye on him just to be sure though." Sam says with all the confident in the world and it makes me glad that he hasn't really noticed anything.

"Okay." Bobby says and I can pracitcally see him giving them a reassuring nod and smile.

I choose that moment to walk back in and set the phone on the table.

"We leaving now?" I ask and look up at them.

Suddenly I just want to go home and crawl into bed.

* * *

_**To Be Continued...**_

_**Thank you all who are making this story such a joy to write! :) I appreciate it!  
**_


	13. Chapter 13

Some things just happen suddenly and you can't explain them. Like Sam not coming home and Dean having a freakout attack over nothing. or now, hearing Mr. Sullivan got fired from the school.

"No one knows why." Jo tells me in science class.

Maybe it's better that way. No one has to know everything right?

I nod and pretend like i'm listening. I don't know whether to be happy or terrified about this whole situation.

"His last day is Thursday, or so that's what everyone else is saying."

Great. 3 more days.

* * *

I could have came clean. If I was an only child I would have came clean a long time ago. I've told myself this a thousand times and I tell myself again when I look up at the next Thursday afternoon.

"You didn't tell anybody right?"

"No."

The classroom seems empty now. Thing's are boxed up and you can tell he's pissed about being fired.

"Even though I won't be here anymore I still expect you to keep quiet or you know what'll happen." He says and puts a hand on my shoulder.

"Alright." I tell him.

"You gonna fight me this last time?"

I shake my head and lay down on the floor. The sooner I cooperate the sooner this will all be over for good.

* * *

If you hold things inside you for to long, you'll end up breaking down. Or so that's what I think happened to me later that night.

I have my face in my pillow and I'm crying my eyes out and I don't feel bad about it. Sam and Dean are in the other room and they don't notice anything. They haven't noticed anything for this long so why would they now?

"Addy?"

My breath catches because I've noticed the yelling stopped and I can feel Dean's stepping into my room. This pisses me off, why can't he respect my privacy?

"What Dean?" I say trying to make my voice sound normal.

"You okay?" He asks and sits down on the bed next to me. His eyes widen when he looks over and see's me crying and that's a look you never want to see Dean give you.

"Hey what's wrong?" He asks and gently shakes me.

Stupid mother hen.

"Just a hard day is all." I tell him and sniff. "You know?" He should know. Me and Sam have seen him have hard days before.

"You wanna talk about it? You want to talk to Sam about it?"

Since when did they become therapists?

"No. I'm alright." I say and give him a little smile.

"Okay. You hungry?" Dean asks and places his hand on my shoulder.

Right. Ever since last weekend at Bobby's, Sam and Dean have made it their mission to stare at me while I eat and to force more food into me then I can really handle. I mean I do that to myself but I do it when I'm alone and can actually throw it up right afterwards.

_"Bobby's just worried."_ Sam told me.

"_Don't you think he's gonna be even more worried when he finds out you two plan to stuff me too death?" _I had pointed out while staring down at the spaghetti.

"_Your fine. Just eat it." _Dean had said. I did and it came right back up later that night.

"Addy?"

I look back over at Dean. "No I'll eat later." I tell him. Oh yes I would eat later. They had no idea how much I would eat.

"Okay."

It gets silent but yet he still sits there staring down at the floor like an idiot. I know he suspects something's going on because he isn't a total idiot. I know him and Sam talk about me a lot.

"Just..." He finally says. "If you want to talk about anything, come find me or Sam alright?"

I nod but I know perfectly well that I won't be coming to them for anything. Especially regaurding this.

* * *

At three a.m. I open the fridge and the cabinets and grab the first things my hands touch and lay them out on the counter. Peanut Butter, pasta, bread, leftover pie. It all slides down my throat and I smirk when my stomach twists up and it starts to hurt. I don't stop, because the longer you do it, the better it feels.

I run over to the sink, because I know I won't make it to the bathroom in time and I slide my fingers down my throat and brace myself for all of it to come back up but my heart drops to my stomach when I hear Sam's worried voice.

"Adam?"

I know now, I've been caught in the act.

* * *

_**To Be Continued.**_

_**Sorry if this chapter wasn't as good as the others, I just really wanted to have something up today and I did work really hard on it :/ **_


	14. Chapter 14

I should have run, but I knew Sam would catch me and that would only make things worse and it's not like I can tell him I'm sick because I know very well that he see's my finger down my throat.

I remove them and turn to face him and look up at him. I see fear and shock all over his face and I know he's trying to figure out the right words to say.

"W-what were you doing?" He finally stutters out. I know he knows so I don't know why he asked.

"I think you know Sam." I say and close my eyes. "Please don't tell Dean." I add, whispering.

He doesn't say anything, just sighs and runs his fingers through his hair trying to figure out what to do.

"What in the hell are you guys doing?" Dean asks coming in the kitchen rubbing his eyes, stll half asleep and grumpy as hell.

I expect Sam to rat me out, to maybe have a full on breakdown or to get angry in front of Dean about it, but that's not what he does at all.

"Nothing me and Adam were just going back to bed." Sam finally says and glances over at me with wide eyes and motions for me to come over towards him. I do and when we look back up at Dean he's giving us a confused look like we're crazy.

"Everything okay?" He asks voice suddenly full of worry.

"Everything's fine." Sam tells him and gives me a little push down the hall. "Night Dean." He says and follows me.

"Night." Dean mumbles before heading back down to dad's room.

Sam closes the door and I climb back up on my bed and wait for him to drill me. He comes over and pushes my bed up against his so their together, then climbs up next to me and puts a shaky arm around me.

"You can't get out of this now Adam." He says and that makes tears sting my eyes.

"I'm sorry." I whisper and look up at him.

"You need to talk to me." He adds and I can see tears forming in _his _eyes, and Sam **never **cries about anything.

I shrug and that only worries him more.

"Do you um...worry about your weight?" He finally asks.

No I don't. I don't do this because I think I'm overweight or anything, but it's not like I can tell him that. So instead I nod.

"Adam..." He says letting the rest of his sentence trail then sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you mad Sammy." I whisper.

"I'm not mad. I'm scared Adam."

"Okay."

He looks back down at me and wraps me in a hug. "There are other ways of losing weight than doing this. This is dangerous you know that Adam?"

Yes I know very well big brother.

"Yeah." I say instead.

"You know your underweight anyway?"

That's what the doctor said the last time I went anyways.

I nod. "I'll stop Sammy." I tell him.

"You will? Because I really don't want to have to tell Dean about this." He says.

I don't want him to tell Dean either.

"I will. I promise." I say and give him a little smile.

"I'm taking your word on this Adam Winchester. Don't make me regret it alright?"

I nod. "I don't like doing it. It's gross."

That part isn't a lie. I really don't enjoy doing it because of the gross outcome, but hey we all have our own way of dealing with things right?

"I'm glad to hear you say that, but if I catch you again you know I'm gonna have to tell Dean right?"

I nod and lay back down when he throws the blanket back over me.

I just have to make sure I don't get caught now.

* * *

"So what exactly happened last night?" Dean is asking at breakfast the next morning. Leave it to Dean to bring things up that should just be forgotten.

"Nothing." Sam says again as he glances over at me. "Why?"

"Well I saw all the food out on the table. What did you two decide to have a midnight snack or something?" Dean asks and glances at the both of us.

"Yeah. Why? Are you judging? because Dean I take offense to that when we see all the shit you eat..." Sam says and smirks.

"Funny." Dean says and drops the subject but doesn't stop talking. "What's wrong with you?" He asks looking back over at me.

"What?" I say after swallowing a sip of juice.

"You haven't said much is all."

"Well I'm not like you. I know when to shutup Dean." I say and grab my backpack.

"Geez someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today." He mumbles looking over at Sam.

I feel like Dean's my father and Sam's my mother. They sure do act like it and it makes me smile just thinking about it.

"Alright let's get this day over with. We should do something this weekend." Dean finally says standing up.

Yeah okay. Whatever we do I know Sam's gonna be all over my case to make sure i don't run and purge. I curse myself for not going to the damn bathroom and locking the door last night.

* * *

_**To Be Continued... :P **_

_**thanks for the feedback xoxx  
**_


	15. Chapter 15

_**So sorry about the delay D: hopefully this long chapter will make up for it :) **_

* * *

I'm laying on the hood of the impala trying to get certain things off of my mind in the middle of the afternoon on a Saturday. It's cool out and the sun is trying to shine through the clouds. It's the beginning of November so there's quite a bit of chill in the air.

I sigh and let my eyes follow the sudden sound I'm hearing and soon Dean's standing in front of me looking down at me.

"What are you doing?" He asks.

"Layin here. I can move if you want." I tell him. I don't want him to go into like cardiac arrest or anything for laying on his baby.

"No your fine." he says and jams his hands in his pockets. He looks nervous and for a second I think Sam's caved and told him about what happened the other night.

"What's wrong?" I ask and sit up and rest my arms on my knees. Whatever this is, I doubt I'm gonna like it.

"Nothing...it's just that Sam's out with his friends tonight." He says and turns to lean against the car next to me.

"So?" Sam's always going out with his friends.

"So, don't you have any friends you'd like to go hang out with?"

"No."

"Oh come on Addy. What about Jo?"

He's annoying me now. Why does he care if I have any friends all of a sudden?

"What about her?" I ask and look up at him.

"Why don't you call her and ask her out or somethin."

"No."

"Why?"

"I don't want to Dean."

It gets silent for about a minute before I decide to break it again.

"What's the big deal? Huh Dean?" I end up asking.

"I just worry about you is all. You normally make friends whenever we're in a new place. I don't want you being like a loner or anything." He says and sets his gaze straight ahead. Although I have no idea what he's staring at, it's not like there's anything interesting around here.

"You don't have any friends. So what's it matter?" I ask. Not once since we've been here have I ever heard Dean mention any friends. So why is he up my case?

"I have friends Addy." He tells me and looks down at me. "I just can't go hang out with them."

I get it now and it pisses me off.

"You can't hang out with them because you have to stay home with me." I say and don't even pretend to hide how annoyed and pissed off I am. I get my answer when Dean doesn't answer.  
I slide off the hood and turn towards him.

"Just go Dean. Go hang out with your friends!"

"Addy I didn't mean to make you mad."

"Well you did. Go on. I don't need you to sit at home and take care of me like I'm a baby!" I say and turn away to walk in the house.

"Dad said-"

"Dean look around!" I say and throw my hands up in the air. "Dad's not fucking here! So go do whatever the hell you want!" I practically yell.

His eyes go dark and for a second I think he might be possesed but he pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs.

"Fine. You know what? Your right. Your not a baby, you know how to defend yourself. So I'm gonna go out tonight."

"Fine." I say and slam the door to the house. Minutes later I can hear the Impala driving away from the house. I kick at the door because Dean's made me mad for the night. i had no idea I was stopping him from having fun.

I practically run to my room and look under the couch for Dean's duffle bag and search through it until I find his candy stash. Funny, this is actually his emergency kit.

Idiot.

I stuff peanut M&M's in my mouth along with hershey's kisses and peanut butter cups into my mouth until my mouth's so full it hurts. I swallow it all and I keep going until my stomach starts cramping up from eating to fast. I walk into the bathroom and shove my fingers down my throat and watch it all come back up and smirk when I'm done. I make myself feel better and Dean's gonna be pissed when he finds out his stash has been tampered with.

Perfect day so far.

* * *

"Dean, Adam I'm home." Sam calls into the house a few hours later. It's nine p.m and it's pitch dark outside. I'm half laying, half sitting on the couch watching t.v.

"Hey Adam. Where's Dean?" He asks when he walks in and sits down next to me, nearly falling over in the process. He smells like booze.

"You drunk?" I ask and glance over at him.

"What? No!"

He's way to defensive to be telling the truth.

"Okay. Dean went out." I say and look back at the t.v.

"He left you here?"

"Yeah."

If Sam had been Sober he probably would have had a mental freak out but now that he's had a few all he says is "Oh."

"Yeah." I say again.

"You okayyy?" He slurrs and puts a hand on my head and actually starts petting me.

"'m fine." I tell him and slap his hand away. He's such a freak when he drinks.

I gasp when he pulls me in for a hug and tries to hold me like a child.

"Sam get off of me!" I say a little to panicked and squirm out of his grip. I know Sam would never try to do anything, but it still makes me uncomfortable.

"'m sorry Adam. I just love youu. Little brother." He once again slurrs and goes back to petting my head.

"Stop it." I say and slap his hand away again. "You didn't drive did you?"

"'m not an idiot Adam."

I twist my mouth to the side and think about that statement. "Okay. Don't try and hold me again got it?" I say sternly to make sure he gets it.

"Kayy." He mumbles. His eyes are already closing and he's falling over on the couch.

"You going to sleep?" I ask him and grab the blanket off the floor and glance back at him. I don't get an answer, just the sound of him softly snoring. I roll my eyes and throw the blanket over him and that's when I hear the sound of the Impala driving up.

I knew Dean wouldn't be mad about Sam coming home drunk. God knows we've covered his ass whenever he did it and dad happeened to be home at the time.

"Is he okay?" He asks.

"Yeah." I tell him. I wonder how many times I've said that tonight.

"Okay. Night." He says and goes to walk down the hall to dads room. I don't know why, I know he won't be going to bed until sometime later in the night. I know he's still mad at me too, but he just doesn't understand what's wrong with me.

So I have to let it go, etleast until in the morning. Thing's will be back to normal soon.

I hope.

* * *

_**To be continued...**_


	16. Chapter 16

"How do you like the new history teacher?" Jo is asking me on the front lawn of the school at lunch. We're both sitting under a tree and watching everyone else walk around and chat.

"She's alright." I say. She's like sixty years old but I'm not complaining at all

"Yeah." Jo agrees.

I'm dizzy and a little lightheaded so I take a bite of the apple I got from the cafeteria. I think I'm throwing up too much. I'm not trying to make myself pass out or anything. I'm afraid I'm just gonna pass out one day in front of Sam and Dean and then I'm gonna wake up in the hospital and then everyone's gonna know about-

"Hey you okay?" Jo asks and puts an a hand on my arm. I look up at her and I can feel my eyes watering.

"Yeah. Sorry." I say and try to regain my composure. No need to have a full on breakdown right here.

She just gives me a smile and nods a little. "So I was thinking..." She says changing the subject.

"Yeah?"

"You wanna hang out or something tonight?"

This isn't the first time she's asked me to hang out. I wanna say the third. I like her and everything I just don't feel like going anywhere or really doing anything.

"I have to help Dean with the impala tonight." I finally say.

"Okay." She says and gives me a small sad smile.

The look of hurt on her face makes me feel so bad.

* * *

Pastor Jim is waiting for us when we get home from school. Probably doing a check up or something and to make sure dad is taking care of us like he should be doing. Dad's not here though so I don't know how he's gonna determine that.

"Afternoon boys." He says with a smile at the kitchen table.

"Hey Pastor Jim." Dean says. Me and Sam just wave.

"How are you guys doing?"

"Great." Dean says at the same time Sam says "good." He's looking at me for an answer and I just say "Okay." Although I don't think he's convinced.

"Adam you've lost a lot of weight since the last time I saw you." He tells me when I set my backpack down in one of the kitchen tables.

I don't know what to say.

"He's just been getting out more." Sam says for me. "You know exercising."

"Yeah he eats. He's fine." Dean adds before opening the fridge.

Yep I'm perfectly fine.

Still, Pastor Jim doesn't look convinced and that makes me glance down at myself.

"You sure your okay?" He finally asks and waves Dean off when he tries to answer for me. Something Pastor Jim says to him about me being old enough to say how I'm really feeling and that I don't need anybody answering for me.

"Yes." I say through clenched teeth and walk off to my room. It gets annoying answering the same question over and over again and constantly lying about the answer.

* * *

I'm sitting in the bathroom stuffing banana peppers down my throat so fast it burns and makes my eyes water. Pastor Jim's gona now and I overheard him telling both Sam and Dean to keep an eye on me and I heard Dean argue with him about it telling him he watches me carefully. That's a lie obviously I think as I stuff the rest of the peppers in my mouth.

I set the jar down on the sink as I feel my stomach cramp up and I kneel down in front of the toilet and gag it all back up and then suddenly panic when I hear a knock at the door.

"Addy?"

Shit Dean. I don't have any time to react because he's already opening the door.

"Jesus!" He says when he see's me puking my guts out and kneels next to me. "You okay?" He asks and I can feel him gently rubbing my back. I barely nod before my stomach cramps up again.

"Dean? Adam? What are you-" I glance up at Sam who's stopped in the doorway and is staring wide eyed down at us. "Oh god Adam..."

I can feel tears welling in my eyes as I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. Dean's standing back up and is taking the jar of banana peppers in his hand and looking at it.

"Adam..." He says quietly and looks down at me then back up at Sam. I shake my head but he knows Sam knows something because of the upset look on his face.

"Anything you wanna tell me Sam?" Dean asks holding up the jar.

"I'm sorry Dean I should have said something."

"Your gonna have to do better than that."

Dean walks out in the hall where Sam is and I crawl and slam the door and lock it and put my face in my hands as I hear the conversation.

"What the hell is going on!" Dean demands, venom in his voice.

Sam waits a minute before softly saying. "I think Adam's bulimic." Which makes the tears in my eyes fall.

"How long?" Dean asks, voice cracking.

"He promised he'd stop." Sam whispers.

"Oh god." I can hear Dean say before he knocks on the door again. "Addy? Open the door please." He says, and he sounds just as upset as I do.

I sniff hard and rub at my eyes because the secrets out now.

* * *

_**To Be Continued...**_

_**Omg :/ my boy. **_

_**thx for your reviews!**_


	17. Chapter 17

_**Oh wow! I'm SO sorry for the delay! This weekend was so busy for me because it was memorial day weekend and I had so much to do. Anyways I hope this will make up for it!**_

* * *

"I just thought he was sick when I opened the door! I had no idea..." I can hear Dean saying outside my room. The doors closed and I'm laying on my bed curled up in a ball listening to him Sam and Pastor Jim talk out in the hall. After Dean kicked the bathroom door down Sam went and called Pastor Jim who came back here straight away.

"I mean... He _made _himself sick! He's been doing it for weeks and I never saw it?" He adds

"It's okay Dean." Pastor Jim tells him and I can almost see him putting his hand on his shoulder.

"I should have said something..I mean I caught him a few weeks ago, but he promised he'd stop..." Sam is saying this time. I did promise that. He's never gonna trust me again.

"This isn't your fault either Sam." Pastor Jim tells Sam as well. I want to thank him because he's right.

"I don't know what to do." Dean says and sighs. "I'm _scared."_

Psh. Dean isn't scared of anything. He should really quit lying.

"Don't worry okay? I'm gonna call your father..." My heart stops when I hear Pastor Jim say those words. Dad will be mad and we'll all have to deal with him. This is gonna be all my fault!

"And you go talk to your brother. See if you can get anything out of him." He says finishing his sentence. Although I'm not sure if he's talking to Sam or Dean. Probably both of them.

Sure enough I hear my door open and I close my eyes and pretend to be asleep. I wanna hold off on talking to them as much as possible.

I feel the side of my bed dip and automatically know one of them has planted their ass next to me.

"Addy?" Dean says softly and places his hand on my back and gently nudges me.

"What Dean." I mumble and curl up even more.

"We need to talk...me and Sam are in here..." He starts out saying but letting his sentence trail off.

Sam's probably pacing on the other side of the room, because like Dean, he doesn't know what to do or say. No one does.

"I'm not talking about it." I say and pull the blanket over myself.

I thought that Dean would pull it off and force me to sit up and actually _make _me talk to him and Sam and tell them what's wrong but he doesn't do that at all. All he does is lay down next to me and rubs my back like I'm a child. I don't say anything, I just force myself to go too sleep.

* * *

Dean drags me out of the house later on. He drags me to the back porch and makes me sit down next to him and I know that this is where we're gonna have the talk.

"It'll be nice if you get out." He says.

His eyes are red and you can tell he's been crying. Dean's never been the emotional one unless the situation was bad. Why this situation I have no idea.

"Where's Sam?" I ask annoyed. I know where he's at. He's off with pastor Jim talking about me and what they are gonna do about it.

"I wanted to talk to you alone first."

Great.

"What?" I say and cross my arms. "It's cold out here."

"You wanna talk to me? Tell me what's wrong?" He asks before putting his jacket around me and looking down. You can so tell he's uncomfortable with this whole situation and would rather avoid it than do anything else about it.

"Nothing's wrong."

"Then why are you doing this to yourself? I mean Sam told me what _you _told him...are you that insecure about yourself?" He asks while giving me a confused look. I can tell he really doesn't buy it. He probably thinks Sam's crazy or that he's covering me for some other excuse.

I shoot him a glare that tells him to back off because he's making me sound like some teenage girl. He probably thinks I'm acting like one though from the excuse I _did _tell Sam.

"Addy...I need to know. We're worried is all." He tells me and puts a hand on my shoulder. Yes they are so worried now, and it's annoying me to no end.

His tone is more gentle now but he isn't gonna back off, even though I'm not saying anything.

"look at me."

I slowly turn my head towards him and the next words that come out of his mouth make me bust out crying.

"I'm not mad at you." He says and he sounds like dad making an order.

Shouldn't he be? I mean I made him not look like a responsible big brother right? Him and Sam both? They should be _pissed _at me. I should be punished for everything i am putting them through right this minute right?

"Neither is Sam." Dean adds before wrapping me in a hug. "Please don't cry."

When someone asks you not to cry, that just makes you cry even more. Dean probably thinks I'm a baby for breaking down like this. Score for embarrasing big brother number one!

"'m sorry." I finally whisper and sniff hard.

Dean shakes his head before letting his forehead rest in my hair. "None of this is your fault kiddo." He whispers.

Isn't it? I didn't say anything about Mr. Sullivan when _it _happened. I made myself sick to deal with it and I let myself get caught doing it. What was he talking about? Has he lost his damn mind?

"Your just going through something...Me and Sam want to help...but we can't if you don't tell us what's wrong..." He finally adds. Going through something?

"I don't want to talk about it." I tell him and shrug him off.

"Your gonna have to eventually."

Before I can argue with him Sam comes out the back door with his phone in his hand and walks towards me. The next sentence that comes out of his mouth makes me stop breathing for a minute.

"It's dad. He wants to talk to you."

* * *

_**To Be Continued...**_


	18. Chapter 18

Dad's the last person I want to talk too. I look up at Sam and shake my head but I can hear dad's voice on the other end of the phone so I really don't have a choice. I take the phone and press it against my ear.

"Dad." I whisper carefully.

"Adam?" His voice is worried and is he crying? Dad? Crying? "Oh god Adam..." He says and I can _hear _the crack in his voice, as if he's trying not to lose it on the phone.

"Dad I'm sorry..." I say before breaking out into sobs of my own making Dean wince before putting his face in his hands. I don't know why I'm apologizing. It's not gonna change anything.

"Don't be sorry okay? It's not your fault. Don't cry, you know I hate it when you guys cry." Dad says softly and takes me by surprise. I sniff hard and force myself to calm down.

"I'll be home soon okay? Just...let Sam and Dean take care of you okay?"

"Okay."

"Adam?"

"Yeah dad?"

"I love you, son."

I choke out a sob. "I love you too dad." I whisper back before hanging up and handing the phone back to Sam. He gives me a little smile and bends down and hugs me.

"You okay?" He asks.

"Yeah." I tell him and rub my eyes. I thought dad would get mad and yell at me or something. His reaction was far from anything I expected. "He's coming home..." I add and glance at the both of them.

"Okay." Dean says before reaching out and putting a hand on my arm. "It's gonna be okay."

But something tells me everything is not gonna be okay.

* * *

"You want to eat in bed?" Dean asks when he walks back into mine and Sam's room. It's later on in the day and now we're just waiting on dad to get home. Pastor Jim has already tried to send me to a hospital, which freaked Dean out.

"He's been making himself throw up Dean. That's dangerous." He had told Dean in the kitchen. I had tried to speak up for myself but in this situation my opinion didn't matter.

"Adam have you umm...seen blood?" Sam finally asks, turning his attention towards me and putting his hand on my arm.

"No." I had told him and I could tell that was a good thing.

"He should get checked out." Pastor Jim speaks up again. They don't understand that I just _can't _go to a hospital. They'll find out about _it._

"I'm not going to the hospital." I finally said not caring if they were gonna listen or not.

"We can wait." Dean said. "There's no blood. If he stops now, he should be alright."

Pastor Jim gave him a weary look that says, Dean I know you want to pretend like this isn't happening but it is and your brother is heading down a dangerous road.

"I know. I read about it in some books Bobby left behind here." Dean finally said again. " I read about the eating disorder...I know..."

Eating disorder? Dudes can't get eating disorders right?

"I just...me and Sam would feel better..." Dean couldn't seem to get his words out.

"Wait for dad." Sam had said for him. And that argument was over.

Now Sam's been sitting in his bed next to me since we came in. I know he wants me to talk but he doesn't understand that I just _can't._

"Yeah Dean." I finally say giving him an answer. He slowly nods before dissapearing again. I know they're gonna watch me to make sure I don't run off to the bathroom straight after to throw it back up. I wouldn't even if they didn't know because I'm actually starving now, and I still don't think they've noticed that I'm not doing this to lose weight. I don't even know why girls do it. I mean who cares what other people think?

"Thanks Dean." I say and give him a smile when he sets a tray of soup down in front of me. I eat the whole bowl and lay down and close my eyes again and let them keep watch on me because I know that I'm not gonna do anything.

* * *

When I open my eyes again the room is dark and i can tell it's sometime in the night and I can hear Sam and Dean talking in the next room

"I just...we had no idea how bad it was..." Sam's voice says. I don't hear anything again for a few minutes after that so I'm not sure who he's talking too.

I do jump and yelp when I feel someone put their hand on my arm. "SAM! DEAN!" I yell panicked and curl up.

"Easy!" Someone says and flicks on the lights. I squint and look up and see dad standing in the room, with Sam and Dean leaning against the doorway. I sigh of relief and try and get my heartbeat back to normal.

"I'm sorry buddy. I didn't mean to scare you." He says and sits down on my bed and get this- He actually reaches out for me. Like a toddler just learning to walk. I swallow nervously before crawling over to him and letting him hug me tight.

"It's gonna be okay." He whispers the same exact thing that Dean had said earlier that day. He let's go of me and holds my face in his hands. "But we can't help you if you don't talk to us, you know."

I know. I know. I know. I just can't.

"Not right now." I finally say and much to my relief, he nods.

* * *

_**To be continued**_


	19. Chapter 19

"Adam you have a visitor." Dad's voice calls out from the kitchen. I'm curled up on the couch in one of Sam's hoodies - which is way to big for me- and flipping through the channels on the t.v. Dad's been on the phone with Pastor Jim for the past hour trying to figure out what to do next. Probably Bobby too. He came by yesterday and he blames himself for all of this since he was the first one to notice something was even wrong. It's not anybody's fault but mine.

But what visitor do I have?

"Adam?" Dad calls out again. If I don't answer he'll probably think I've keeled over or something.

"Yeah send them in." I call back. I have a pretty good feeling I know who it is though.

"Hey Adam." Jo says when she see's me. She looks nervous and is standing in the door way.

"Hey...come in." I say and motion her over and gently pat the couch. She smiles and slowly walks over and sits down next too me. It's one of those awkward silences after that and I can tell she's trying to think of the right thing to say.

"Your brother's talked to me yesterday." She finally says and turns to look at me, tucking a piece of blonde hair behind her ear. "They asked me if I knew about...you know...your problem..."

Geez with the way she's sounding you'd think I'm doing drugs or something. But of course, that's why she's here. As if this wasn't embarrassing enough with just my family knowing. Now they've gone and told probably the whole school about this fucking eating disorder. It's not even a fucking eating disorder!

"I didn't...I mean your first day I told you about those girls and what they did...but I never meant for you to..." She's stuttering and she's so close to tears.

"It's okay." I finally say. "This isn't your fault I just..." I let my sentence trail because this isn't an easy conversatin to have with your suppose best friend.

"No it's okay Adam. Guys can get eating disorders too..." She adds quickly and puts her hand on my arm- something that's been done way too much the past few days. I give her a sad smile and nod back because she sounds like Sam, with all the information anyway.

"Your dad seems nice." She says changing the subject and giving a shaky smile.

"Yeah he is. Is yours?" I ask. But really that's a dumb question anyways.

"Mine passed away. It's just me and my mom." She tells me and looks down.

"I'm sorry. My mom passed away." I tell her like this is some kind of therapy session.

She turns back towards me and bites her lip. "I don't know what to say."

I give her the same sad smile. "I know. No one does."

* * *

"You don't want to be late." Dean tells me when he puts the car in park in front of the hospice building. Remember that little counseling session with Jo earlier? Well Pastor Jim thinks it's a great idea for me to go talk to a stranger. Dad thinks so too or he wouldn't be forcing Dean to drive me. Problem is, I'm still pissed at all of them for telling Jo I puke my guts out whenever I eat. Which is false. It's not like I do it every time!

"I'm not going." I tell him and keep my arms crossed. It might not have been so bad if dad and Sam were here, but dad needed Sam to help him with research on a new hunt. I don't even see why he came home.

"It'll help." Dean tells me. No it certainly won't help. He has no idea.

"How would you know?" I ask.

"Look I've dealt with this before. Not talking to someone about your problems I mean. It's never good Addy." He says in a sympathetic voice.

"Yeah? Did you go see a counselor when _your _mom died? Huh Dean?" I know I'm walking on thin ice with that one, but he just doesn't get it. None of them do!

"Lose the attitude Addy." Dean growls and gives me a glare.

"Don't fucking call me that and maybe I will." I say and glare back. Right now Dean's the last person that scares me. I've faced worse so I could care less what he tries to do.

"Fine _Adam._ Go on or your gonna be late."

I open the door and step out and then slam the son of a bitch as hard as I can. I can see Dean clenching his teeth and trying not to lose it and it makes me smirk. I'm gonna make him pay for making me do this. He's obviously gonna wait and make sure I walk in before driving off so I take out my house key and plunge it into the side of the car and just drag it. It makes a god awful noise that makes my adrenaline pump even faster.

"What the hell!" Dean yells, getting out of the car and walking over to me. He grabs my arm and turns me around. "What the hell is wrong with you!"

There isn't anybody in the parking lot so he's not even trying to make himself calm down. He steps back and closes his eyes and I think he's counting to ten, or twenty or whatever.

"You know what? Get in the car. I don't even care what you do anymore." He says and climbs back into the drivers side. That's probably the most hurtful thing he's ever said to me, but it doesn't phase me. Not yet anyways.

I smirk again and get back in the car and wait patiently on the ride back home.

* * *

_**There will be way more going on in the next chapter! Way More Angry Adam too ;) I have a few ideas so be patient! thanks for your reviews! xoxx**_


	20. Chapter 20

Maybe keying the impala was a mistake. If it was I'm sure not feeling it yet. Not even with the evil glares Dean is giving me on the way home. Nope not yet.

"I don't know what the hell has gotten into you lately but it needs to fucking end." He growls and shoots me another glare. I glance over at him and see that he's gripping the wheel so hard his knuckles are turning white. He's really pissed

"I just don't get it Adam this is so unlike you." He adds in. Yes being bulimic and keying your precious baby isn't something I would do if I was fine. I'm not fucking fine and I want you to realize what's wrong!

"Are you gonna say anything?"

I sigh and bang my head against the window. Of course I'm not gonna say anything and I don't even when we get home.

"What is he doing here Dean?" Dad asks and glances up from the table. Sam's head shoots up and he gives me that worried look. That _what did you do and how mad is Dean _look.

"Go look at the side of the Impala Dad." Is all Dean says, but there is so much venom in his voice I want to throw holy water on him to make sure he isn't possessed or anything.

Dad's mouth becomes a thin line before he gets up and walks out the door. I immediately run to Sam for comfort. Now I know keying the Impala was a mistake because I never even thought about what dad would do.

"Sam quit babying him." Dean growls and crosses his arms. Sam ignores him and wraps me in a hug. I can feel tears well up in my eyes and I don't know why. Can't I control my fucking emotions for once.

"It's gonna be okay." Sam suddenly whispers in my ear and I choke out a sob. You just don't say that to someone who's trying so hard not to cry you know?

I cling tighter when I hear dad come back in. I should be afraid for my life. Dad's gonna beat my ass.

"Adam go to your room." He says in a rather calm voice. Too calm. Way clamer than I had expected him to be.

Sam let's go of me and gives me a small smile. I sniff hard and turn to walk down the hall too my room, but not before leaving the door opened a crack so I can hear what they're saying.

"Dad I tried! I tried so fucking hard but he lashed out at me!" Dean says harsh, with more venom in his voice.

"Calm down Dean." Dad says and again he's way too calm. Maybe this is a new form of anger...

"Calm down? How the hell do you expect me to calm down? Did you see what he did to baby!" Dean practically yells.

"Dean shut the fuck up. You sound like you care about that stupid car more than your little brother!" Sam's voice fills the house this time. "That little brother, _our _little brother is _sick _Dean! Have you forgotten?"

It gets silent for a moment and I can tell Dean's trying not to explode.

"Of course not but he won't fucking tell us anything! He freaked when I tried to make him go talk to that counselor!"

"Yeah well that was a bad idea anyway." Sam says and I can practically see him glaring at dad. Sam's my favorite person right now.

"Pastor Jim said it would help. I don't know what to fucking do anymore either." Dad says and sighs and I feel the tears fall from my eyes for the first time since I got home. _I want to fucking tell you what's wrong so you can fix it and make me stop hurting dad._

_"_I can't just pack you boys up and go back on the road right now...I'm not gonna risk his health..." Dad says letting his sentence trail off.

Oh great, so now it's my fault we're staying here? Isn't it always?

"I didn't mean to make it sound like I didn't care." Dean says next and his voice is calmer. Calmer than it was about five minutes ago when he wanted to kill me for messing with his baby. "I'm just _scared._ I've never dealt with anything like this before."

How exactly are you dealing with it now Dean? How would you _possibly _deal with it if you knew?

"None of us have. And I'm not buying this bullshit story that he's doing this to lose weight. I know what he told you Sam, but that's nothing Adam would do." Dad says.

"I agree. But throwing up is a sign something else is wrong too you know?"

"Did you research this shit Sammy?" Dean asks.

"A little."

Suddenly my blood is boiling again and I turn around and glare at all the shit in our room. How do they still now know? How dumb are they!

I throw the lamp that's on the bedside table against the wall and I do the same thing with everything else I can get my hands on. All of our stuff, even Sam's stupid textbooks and Dean's candy stash from his duffle. I want to destroy every fucking thing in there.

A hand grabs my shoulder and spins me around so fast I almost lose my balance. The three of them are standing in front of me now and all have the same worried look on their faces.

"Adam what the hell..." Dad starts off.

I break free from Sam's grasp and stumble back and I do the one thing that got me in this mess in the first place. I shove my fingers down my throat and make myself throw up right there in front of them. On the carpet.

"Oh god." Dean says and steps back. When I stop, I just start bawling my eyes out and then Sam's kneeling next to me wrapping me in another hug and I guess trying to calm me down. Dean's standing against the wall and when I glance up at him through blurry eyes I can really see he is _scared_, and oh shit. He really doesn't know what to do.

Dad kneels down in front of us and glances down at the mess and then back at me with a pained, worried expression.

"Dad make it stop..." I manage to say through my sobs. I cling to Sam even tighter.

"Make what stop Adam?" Dad asks, and I can see the tears in his eyes.

I sob even harder into Sam, and I'm not even sure if that's possible considering his shirt is already soaked through with my tears. He doesn't let go though.

"Adam talk to me. Tell me what's wrong." Dad encourages again. His face is pleading for me to tell him everything.

I sniff hard and try to form the words through the sobbing, I try to make it so he hears it the first time. So they _all _hear it the first time, because this is something I don't want to repeat.

"I was raped." I sob out and then go back to sobbing into Sam's shirt. Now, my last secret is out.

* * *

_**To Be Continued...**_

_**:O **_


	21. Chapter 21

"Oh god Adam please tell me your joking." Dean says from the corner of the room where he's still standing. I have never seen him so scared before in my whole entire life.

"Why would I joke about that Dean!" I yell, still crying. Sam's tense as he continues to still hold me and trying to give me much needed comfort.

"Oh god." Dean says and runs both of his hands through his hair. "Oh god oh god oh god."

"Adam." Dad says softly.

I slowly look up at him and sniff hard.

"Who?"

Who. He wants to know who did it. He wants to know who fucking destroyed me inside. He wants to know who has practically ruined my life.

I shake my head and bury my face in Sam's chest. I don't want to say his name because I don't think I deserve to relive him and what he did.

"Adam." Sam whispers in my ear.

"Hmm." I mumble, still crying a little.

"Was it...your history teacher?" He asks and I can tell by the sound of his voice, he could get sick at any moment. I don't say anything. I just nod again and let more tears roll.

"Aw hell." I can hear Dean say, and he's _pissed._ Dad has the back of his hand pressed to his mouth and he keeps clenching his fist in his other hand and I can tell he's trying not to lose it.

"Dean you come with me." He finally says and glances over at him. Dean nods. I know where they're going and I gather up as much strength as I can to stop them.

"Don't..." I manage to get out. My eyes sting and I'm exhausted so that's all I can get out for the moment. "He said he'd...kill Sammy and Dean..." Followed by more tears. "If I told...please.."

"Oh god." It comes out of Sam's mouth this time.

"Please don't..." I beg again. Why did I tell them anything? Now everything is gonna fall apart.

"Adam." Dad says again and makes me look up at him. "No one is gonna kill Sam and Dean. This son of a bitch is gonna pay for touching you okay? I promise I won't let anything happen okay?" He says trying to assure me but his voice breaks with every word.

"Sam's gonna stay with you okay?" He says again. "Okay Adam? You asked me to make it stop and I'm gonna stop it okay?"

"He's gone...fired..." I mumble.

"Yeah well he hasn't met us. We track down anything and everything right?" Dad says and puts a hand on my head. I nod a little and sniff again when he bends down and kisses my head. Dean does the same and squeezes me to his chest for a moment before cursing and you just knew there were so many emotions going on inside of him.

* * *

"Here." Sam is saying when he sits down on the bed next to me and hands me a wet rag. Dad and Dean are gone and have been gone for about an hour now and Sam's been hovering ever since.

He places the rag over my eyes when I don't make an attempt to take it myself. The he places his hand on mine and I have to keep from busting out crying again.

"'m sorry." I whisper hoarsly and slide the rag off my face so I can look at him. He's been crying too because his eyes are all red and watery.

"Oh god for what Adam?" He asks and shakes his head. "Stop apologizing. None of this is your fault."

"I messed everything up...I shouldn't have said anything..." I tell him and sniff.

"Stop it Adam. Just stop okay? You didn't deserve any of this. I'm sorry me and Dean never noticed." He says and squeezes my hand.

"That was the point." I tell him and wipe my eyes with my other hand. God they sting like hell.

"I know. And I know why you didn't say anything and I can't tell you how much that means, but it still pisses me off that he would use us as blackmail. We're supposed to protect you, it's not supposed to be the other way around." He explains and runs a hand through his hair.

"I-I couldn't chance it...I couldn't."

"I know Adam and I'm so sorry you had to go through that. You wanna talk about it?"

I think for a moment and pick at the blanket on the bed. I do but then I don't/ I just don't want to relive it over and over again.

"It...was at those tutoring meetings..." I finally say and swallow hard before looking back up at Sam. His reaction wasn't anything like I had expected it to be though.

"It was more than once?" He whispers, eyes wide. I don't know why he's whispering. It's not like it's a secret anymore.

"Four." I whisper.

"Oh god." He says and it sounds like he'll have a panic attack like Dean did earlier.

"I'm s-sorry." I stutter out before breaking down again. This is even worse than when I was keeping this whole thing a secret.

"Please stop saying that." Sam whispers and wraps his arms back around me. "Just stop." And that's the last thing I hear before I slump against him, and pass out.

* * *

When I wake up, it's sometime in the night and Sam's still next to me and he looks asleep too but it's kind of a restless sleep. Like he's more aware than asleep.

That's not the only thing I notice either though; I hear Dean's snoring right next to me. I look over and sure enough, there he is. I don't think I've ever been so happy to hear that noise in my entire life.

He's got an arm draped over his eyes but you can tell he isn't really asleep either. My theory is proven when I try and climb out of bed.

"Huh Adam..." He mumbles and jerks awake. I glance over at Sam and notice his eyes are open now too.

"Bathroom." I whisper to them both and climb down and hurry down the hall before one of them try and follow me to make sure I don't purge. I won't, mainly because I haven't ate anything in a while. No. Istead I just stare at myself in the mirror and sigh. My eyes are all swollen from crying so much and they _hurt._

"No he just up and left Bobby. No one knows where that son of a bitch went! Fuck!" Dad yells from in the kitchen. He's obviously on the phone and he's obviously pissed because obviously he couldn't find you know who.

"He hurt my kid Bobby." He adds onto that. "My _baby_."

I don't want to listen to dad anymore so I splash cold water on my face before climbing back into bed with my brothers- which sounds weird but it makes me feel safe. Etleast for tonight anyway.

Dad always says things are better in the mornings. Although I'm not sure if it applies to this.

We'll see.

* * *

**_To Be Continued..._**

**_Well! This chapter was really hard to write, but I got it up! Anyways this story will be coming to an end in the next chapter or two but don't worry- i already have the sequel planning in my head ;) _**

**_thanks for the reviews! means a lot! xoxx_**


	22. Chapter 22

"I think the best thing we can do right now...is to pack up and leave." Dad is telling us all the next morning. And for once since I can remember; Sam doesn't argue with him about it.

"I never want to see this place again." Sam says instead and puts his hand on my head. We're all sitting in the living room but it's so tense that it's kind of awkward. Dean can't even look at me right now, and that hurts because I think I've done something to make him mad again.

"Adam are you sure you don't want to go talk to someone about this? You wanna see a doctor?" Dad asks me, eyes filling with tears. I shake my head because telling a stranger about this won't help anything. Etleast I don't think it will anyways and if anything was physically wrong with me I'm sure I would have noticed by now. But dad assures me that it won't be a problem if I wanna stay and go talk to someone and that he'll take all the time that I need. No, really he'll probably just leave when I'm at one of the appointments. Leave Sam and Dean to pick up the pieces. That's what he's always done.

"Can we just leave?" I ask instead.

"Yeah." Dad says and pulls me to him and hugs me. Something he never really does. "But Adam...you have to stop doing what your doing...the throwing up I mean."

Tears well in my eyes as I hear what he's saying.

"We're here for you, and you can talk to us about anything." He adds before letting me go and waits for me to nod.

"Okay." I tell him. I can stop. Everything is fine right now right? We're leaving, and I can forget this ever happened.

* * *

I'm putting all of my things in my back pack from my locker when I see Jo come up beside me through the corner of my eye.

"Hey." She says and gives me a smile. Funny I would have thought about finding out about the eating disorder, she'd want nothing to do with me.

"Hey." I say back and sling my bag over my shoulder.

"Your brothers told me you guys are leaving." She says and gives me a sad look. Something that absolutely kills me.

"Yeah. We're going back on the road with our dad." I tell her and look down.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Better now."

She nods and slowly walks forward and hugs me, taking me by surprise. "You take care of yourself okay?"

"You too." I tell her and shut my locker and walk away. That's one thing I wish I didn't have to do.

* * *

"I just wanna find the son of a bitch..." I hear dad say when I get in from school. That's all he's really been saying and I know he does, but I wish he would just let it go. Killing him won't change anything that happened.

"You have to be strong for your boys until you do John." Bobby tells him. "The last thing Adam needs right now is for you to lose it."

I scowl and walk back outside. None of them really know what I need.

Dean's loading our things up in the impala and Sam's back inside still packing up some leftover things. "Hey Dean." I say quietly and walk up beside him. He doesn't say anything, just shoves the bags in the car even harder which fucking _hurts _ me.

"Are you mad that we're leaving? Because I can go tell dad that I wanna talk to a counselor..." I tell him. Yeah I'd do that, just because it's Dean and he's done everything for me.

"What? No." Is all he says.

"Why are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong?" I finally just blurt out and ask.

"What?" He says again and turns around to face me, but I know he heard me. "No. God no Adam I'm not mad at you."

"Well it seems like it." I tell him and glance down at the mark on the car I made a few days ago. He see's me glancing at it and puts his hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah I'm mad. But not at you. I'm mad at that perverted son of a bitch that _hurt _you Addy."

Addy. i don't think I've ever been so happy to hear that nickname before in my life.

"I just... whenever I see you now, your trying to stay strong and pretend everythings okay and it just makes me mad that he did that to you. You know?" He explains and digs out his keys.

I slowly nod and sigh. "I'm sorry about what I did to the car Dean..."

He shakes his head and hands me his keys. "You were dealing. If it makes you feel better then do it again, I won't get mad this time."

I swallow hard and take the keys. I don't like the way Dean's talking. It's weird and just not him at all.

"It's better than watching you deal with an eating disorder." He adds, tears welling up in his eyes and for once, I see just how much pain is in there and how he's really dealing with this.

"No. I'm okay." I tell him and hand him his keys back. Call me crazy but he actually looks a little dissapointed that I won't mess up his car anymore than I have already.

"You wanna kick my ass?" He asks next.

"Dean. Stop. The only reason I never told anybody about this is because was afraid he'd kill you or Sam. Now do you really think I would wanna kick your ass right now? Huh?" I ask him. "I'd rather deal with an eating disorder."

He winces at that and I realize that's probably a poor choice of words.

"Just..." he starts out saying. "Just know that when we find this son of a bitch...he's gonna pay." He finishes and you can hear the venom that's back in his voice. I don't get to say anything, because dad is coming out along with Sam and Bobby.

"Let's get out of here." He says and takes the keys from Dean. Sam puts the rest of the bags in the car and we all pile in the car after saying goodbye to Bobby.

Sam sits in the back with me and lets me curl up next to him and he's carding his fingers through my hair like I'm a toddler. I'm not gonna complain, because it feels nice.

Dad has his eyes set on the road and he doesn't say anything. Dean's doing the same thing, same scowl on both faces. I sigh and let my eyes close and drift off to sleep because I know this isn't over.

* * *

_**End.**_

_**Don't worry. Sequels coming ;)  
**_

_**thanks you guys! You really kept me going with this one and I appreciate it so much! I really hope you enjoyed it. xx  
**_


	23. Chapter 23

Hey, remember this story I did a year ago? Wow how time flies!

Anyways, I was thinking of redoing this whole thing and keeping some certain parts and re posting it on here. I give all of this credit to Molls, because she's the one who helped me out when I was stuck!

So, what do you think? Leave me a review or a message ;)


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